A two-year-old’s rebellion is a common problem. Then the child usually screams, cries and argues. How to behave then and what to do?
Each of us has witnessed a small child arguing in a public place. Many times it was the so-called “two-year-old’s rebellion”, which is a parents’ nightmare
It is worth knowing that the rebellion of a two-year-old is nothing unusual. It usually occurs around 18-24 months (sometimes a little earlier, sometimes later). Then the child often explodes, screams, cries, stumbles, lies down on the floor and even bangs his head against everything around, which scares parents the most. Screaming, he often says “no, no, no, no”, is hysterical and hard to calm down. And what is interesting – this is a natural stage in the development of a young person. Although in some children it is so mild that it looks as if it did not appear at all. Much depends on the temperament of the toddler.
Rebellion of a two-year-old usually manifests itself in sudden outbursts of anger, difficult to control. The child in this period very strongly emphasizes and expresses his opinion. He starts and wants to do many things on his own, and every failure and attempt to help may end in an outburst of anger. Then, words such as “no”, “I don’t want to” and “leave it” are very often uttered by the child. The toddler very often screams, hits, spits, pulls hair (himself and others) and does what is forbidden.
You should be aware that a two-year-old is developing very intensively – both mentally and physically. He gains a lot of new skills, acquires many habits. So it is a difficult, but at the same time very important moment. The child is becoming more and more independent and self-reliant. This shapes his/her sense of self. Another issue is testing the parent, how much he/she can afford and where are the limits that cannot be crossed. One should also bear in mind that such a toddler is not yet able to cope with accumulated emotions – hence the tantrums, which give vent to them and allow them to calm down
How quickly the toddler’s rebellion will end depends largely on the attitude and reaction of parents, who first of all have to have a lot of patience. They cannot react with anger, because it makes the child’s rebellion even stronger. Then, the two-year-old, instead of calming down, will become more “agitated”, and that is not the point. First of all, try to understand your child. He knows more and more, so it’s no wonder that he wants to do more and more on his own. And even though he/she often does a lot of things incorrectly, you should support and motivate him/her. Sometimes it is worth to allow the child a bit of independence. If, for example, our toddler wants to get dressed on his own in the morning and it takes a long time, we can wake him up earlier (if we want to be on time for work, nursery or kindergarten) and let him calmly put on particular elements of clothing. With time, this will become quicker and easier, and the parent will avoid further bouts of anger.
It is important to talk to the child as much as possible, to explain and warn him or her, e.g. that we are going to the store and the child can only choose one item, and in case of a fight we will not do any shopping. When the child tells us that he or she does not want to, e.g. visit the hairdresser’s, it may be worth having a conversation – why and dispel any possible fears that this visit may be really pleasant
If the child is arguing in a public place, hug the child and gently move him/her to a quiet, secluded place, where he/she can calm down
Also, don’t raise your voice; the calmer it is, the easier it will be to reach the child. Another good method is to give the child a choice – instead of asking “will you eat a sandwich? The child will be happy with the independent decision, and we will be happy with each of them
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